They are always first
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/next_tarantino_movie_an_homage_to?utm_source=a-section
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Inglourious Glorious Basterds
Saw the new Quentin Tarantino film, Inglourious Basterds, and thought it was excellent, despite it being a bit too long and containing spasms of unnecessary flourishes.
While the trailer makes you believe the story is about an elite group of Jewish American soldiers rampaging around Nazi occupied France, the meat of the film revolves around a plot to bomb/burn down a cinema containing high ranking Nazis.
And instead of loads of gun fights and explosions, the majority of the film (the best parts anyway) involve lengthy interrogations, disguised as conversations.
The opening is a breathless scene between the Jew hunter, Nazi Col. Hans Landa (brilliant brilliant Christoph Waltz), harassing a poor farmer in French and English regarding a missing Jewish family. The other stand out scene is in a basement tavern with British agent, Lt. Archie Hicox (Michael Fassbender) verbally fencing an SS officer (sorry, can't figure out who plays this part).
Other scenes worth mentioning are Landa sharing a strudel with cinema owner Shosanna (Melanie Laurent) in a cafe, Shosanna getting ready for the big movie premier (with a use of David Bowie's Cat People which rivals the use of Stealer's Wheel's Stuck in the Middle with You in Reservoir Dogs), and when love struck Nazi filmstar/sharpshooter Frederick Zoller (Daniel Bruhl) confronts Shosanna in the projection room.
I think the balance of the Inglourious Basterds group of soldiers, lead by Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) and Shosanna works well as it give me reason to care if the cinema plot worked. The heart of the story belongs to Shosanna.
And although the Shosanna story line has the stronger narrative, the Raine strand gives the overall film more energy and makes it more edgy. It also sets a overblown, almost parodic tone to the film, or how else could you so casually rewrite history if you were taking it so seriously?
The film is also about reputations and stories. Raine wants the Nazis to fear them. Landa is given two nicknames (The Hangman, and the Jew Hunter). Raine is given a nickname (the Apache), as are members of his team (the Bear Jew, etc...). Zoller's killing exploits has made him famous amongst Nazis, so much so a movies has been made of him.
And the film might be a bit too long, and the style of the film isn't consistent, but so what? Take the Bear Jew montage with the Samuel Jackson voiceover. Why was that there? It jumps out, then is never used again. The hand written arrows pointing out characters also seem out of place, lazy even, instead of thinking a more cinematic way of introducing them.
The film could be trimmed to make it tighter, but to be honest, it would watching a spectacular troupe of back-flipping, fire-juggling acrobats and complaining that their sequins were crooked.
And I did really enjoy it. I liked the madness of it all. I liked the way I didn't know where it was going, didn't know who would live and who would die. I also didn't mind the fact it was amoral (which I think it is) because you can't take a film like this too seriously anyway.
Inglourious Basterds isn't a war film, and isn't even a Jewish revenge tale. It's a mish-mash of violence, myth making, tension, and glorious movie making exuberance.
Saw the new Quentin Tarantino film, Inglourious Basterds, and thought it was excellent, despite it being a bit too long and containing spasms of unnecessary flourishes.While the trailer makes you believe the story is about an elite group of Jewish American soldiers rampaging around Nazi occupied France, the meat of the film revolves around a plot to bomb/burn down a cinema containing high ranking Nazis.
And instead of loads of gun fights and explosions, the majority of the film (the best parts anyway) involve lengthy interrogations, disguised as conversations.
The opening is a breathless scene between the Jew hunter, Nazi Col. Hans Landa (brilliant brilliant Christoph Waltz), harassing a poor farmer in French and English regarding a missing Jewish family. The other stand out scene is in a basement tavern with British agent, Lt. Archie Hicox (Michael Fassbender) verbally fencing an SS officer (sorry, can't figure out who plays this part).
Other scenes worth mentioning are Landa sharing a strudel with cinema owner Shosanna (Melanie Laurent) in a cafe, Shosanna getting ready for the big movie premier (with a use of David Bowie's Cat People which rivals the use of Stealer's Wheel's Stuck in the Middle with You in Reservoir Dogs), and when love struck Nazi filmstar/sharpshooter Frederick Zoller (Daniel Bruhl) confronts Shosanna in the projection room.
I think the balance of the Inglourious Basterds group of soldiers, lead by Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) and Shosanna works well as it give me reason to care if the cinema plot worked. The heart of the story belongs to Shosanna.
And although the Shosanna story line has the stronger narrative, the Raine strand gives the overall film more energy and makes it more edgy. It also sets a overblown, almost parodic tone to the film, or how else could you so casually rewrite history if you were taking it so seriously?
The film is also about reputations and stories. Raine wants the Nazis to fear them. Landa is given two nicknames (The Hangman, and the Jew Hunter). Raine is given a nickname (the Apache), as are members of his team (the Bear Jew, etc...). Zoller's killing exploits has made him famous amongst Nazis, so much so a movies has been made of him.
And the film might be a bit too long, and the style of the film isn't consistent, but so what? Take the Bear Jew montage with the Samuel Jackson voiceover. Why was that there? It jumps out, then is never used again. The hand written arrows pointing out characters also seem out of place, lazy even, instead of thinking a more cinematic way of introducing them.
The film could be trimmed to make it tighter, but to be honest, it would watching a spectacular troupe of back-flipping, fire-juggling acrobats and complaining that their sequins were crooked.
And I did really enjoy it. I liked the madness of it all. I liked the way I didn't know where it was going, didn't know who would live and who would die. I also didn't mind the fact it was amoral (which I think it is) because you can't take a film like this too seriously anyway.
Inglourious Basterds isn't a war film, and isn't even a Jewish revenge tale. It's a mish-mash of violence, myth making, tension, and glorious movie making exuberance.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Why I Won't Be Watching the Piece of Shit that is the New Transformers Movie
I am the exact demographic that the new Transformers move, Revenge of the Fallen, should appeal to.
Sure, also new teenage boy fans, but also the guys that were brought up on Transformers, and had the original cast metal toys. The kids that would rub the mysterious black sticker that would reveal an Autobot or Decepticon sign, use the "infra-red" (in reality, red perspex) thingy to read the graph on the back of the box, and watch the series every Saturday morning.
I admit, I don't really remember much of the cartoon series, except where Optimus Prime and Megatron have this battle on a bridge (or was it dam?) and they have brightly coloured medieval weapons instead of hands (an axe and mace?), but I do remember the cartoon film.
Thinking back on the plot now, it was a real harsh and violent film. If you remember, in the first 10 minutes, all your old favourite Autobots die on the ship - Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl, and Brawn. Then is an epic battle between heroic Autobot leader Optimus Prime (yay!) and arch enemy Metatron (boo!), resulting with the shock of Optimus Prime dying. IN THE FIRST 15 MINUTES OF THE FILM!!! (Can you imagine Michael Bay doing that? No. Bloody. Way.)
The rest of the film is a coming of age journey of sorts, ending with Ultra Magnus realising his place (not leader), Spike rescuing his dad, and Hot Rod blowing up Unicron and becoming the Rodimus Prime. Even the Decepticons go through a journey, with the machiavellian Starscream getting blown up by the reconstructed Galvatron, and even Galvatron realising that with all his new powers, he's enslaved to his creator, Unicron.
I probably last watched the animated Transformers film when I was at university, around nine years ago. I saw the first live action Transformers film in the cinema two years ago. And the crazy thing is, I can't remember the last 30 minutes of the live action movie.
Actually, thinking about it, I can't even remember the plot. Try it. Can you? The only thing I remember is some Transformers hiding around a house (and I only remember it because this "comedic" scene was played out to complete silence in the screening I was in) and something about something in a dam.
What happens in the end, I don't know. Who wins? I don't know.
Now, thinking about it, why would you want to watch a sequel to a film that has given you amnesia? What do you want to give money to filmmakers that have made a film, literally so forgettable, that you literally don't remember what happens? A movie experience that wipes your memory. Is it just me it's happen to? Surely not.
All reviews of the second live action Transformers film I have read are shit. Everyone I've spoken to that has seen it, said it was shit. And with the barrage of faeces coming from this dung pile of film, it still hits the top of the top of the UK box office. WHY??!
And those of you who knew it was going to be shit and watched it regardless: SHAME ON YOU! It's all your fault! Every ticket you buy is only going to encourage them to do it again. You knew it was going to be shit, why did you do it? Are you so weak you can't resist the posters, the tv trailers, and the Burger King tie-in?
I say, take a stand. No more watching films you know to be shit, and shit sequels. If one trusted friend says it's shit, then boycott straight away. Don't see for yourself, trust your friends. We must stop this cycle of shit. FREEDOM!!! (or should that be ENTERTAINMENT!!!).
(And relax... Here is a funny Transformers vid, to cleanse the palette:)
I am the exact demographic that the new Transformers move, Revenge of the Fallen, should appeal to.
Sure, also new teenage boy fans, but also the guys that were brought up on Transformers, and had the original cast metal toys. The kids that would rub the mysterious black sticker that would reveal an Autobot or Decepticon sign, use the "infra-red" (in reality, red perspex) thingy to read the graph on the back of the box, and watch the series every Saturday morning.
I admit, I don't really remember much of the cartoon series, except where Optimus Prime and Megatron have this battle on a bridge (or was it dam?) and they have brightly coloured medieval weapons instead of hands (an axe and mace?), but I do remember the cartoon film.
Thinking back on the plot now, it was a real harsh and violent film. If you remember, in the first 10 minutes, all your old favourite Autobots die on the ship - Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl, and Brawn. Then is an epic battle between heroic Autobot leader Optimus Prime (yay!) and arch enemy Metatron (boo!), resulting with the shock of Optimus Prime dying. IN THE FIRST 15 MINUTES OF THE FILM!!! (Can you imagine Michael Bay doing that? No. Bloody. Way.)
The rest of the film is a coming of age journey of sorts, ending with Ultra Magnus realising his place (not leader), Spike rescuing his dad, and Hot Rod blowing up Unicron and becoming the Rodimus Prime. Even the Decepticons go through a journey, with the machiavellian Starscream getting blown up by the reconstructed Galvatron, and even Galvatron realising that with all his new powers, he's enslaved to his creator, Unicron.
I probably last watched the animated Transformers film when I was at university, around nine years ago. I saw the first live action Transformers film in the cinema two years ago. And the crazy thing is, I can't remember the last 30 minutes of the live action movie.
Actually, thinking about it, I can't even remember the plot. Try it. Can you? The only thing I remember is some Transformers hiding around a house (and I only remember it because this "comedic" scene was played out to complete silence in the screening I was in) and something about something in a dam.
What happens in the end, I don't know. Who wins? I don't know.
Now, thinking about it, why would you want to watch a sequel to a film that has given you amnesia? What do you want to give money to filmmakers that have made a film, literally so forgettable, that you literally don't remember what happens? A movie experience that wipes your memory. Is it just me it's happen to? Surely not.
All reviews of the second live action Transformers film I have read are shit. Everyone I've spoken to that has seen it, said it was shit. And with the barrage of faeces coming from this dung pile of film, it still hits the top of the top of the UK box office. WHY??!
And those of you who knew it was going to be shit and watched it regardless: SHAME ON YOU! It's all your fault! Every ticket you buy is only going to encourage them to do it again. You knew it was going to be shit, why did you do it? Are you so weak you can't resist the posters, the tv trailers, and the Burger King tie-in?
I say, take a stand. No more watching films you know to be shit, and shit sequels. If one trusted friend says it's shit, then boycott straight away. Don't see for yourself, trust your friends. We must stop this cycle of shit. FREEDOM!!! (or should that be ENTERTAINMENT!!!).
(And relax... Here is a funny Transformers vid, to cleanse the palette:)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Review I did of the Kuniyoshi exhibition
I have to pay the bills, right?
http://www.dimsum.co.uk/culture/review-kuniyoshi-at-the-royal-academy-of-arts-london.html
I have to pay the bills, right?
http://www.dimsum.co.uk/culture/review-kuniyoshi-at-the-royal-academy-of-arts-london.html
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
I know it's lazy to just drop in a YouTube clips
But it's kinda related to the previous post. And there are a shitload of them.
But it's kinda related to the previous post. And there are a shitload of them.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Demons and Angels trailer - the best bit about the new Wolverine movie
Saw X-men Origins: Wolverine yesterday. It was a bit rubbish really. Some half decent action scene and lots of sledgehammer exposition (ever wanted to know what happens if you shoot Wolverine in the head with an adamantium bullet? Well this film tells you, no really it tells you to your face and waves signs in case you should be any doubt) and terrible movie cliches that should be made illegal (no-one is allow to hold a recently dead body and scream "Noooooo!" into the sky anymore, and you are also not to *literally* walk off into the sunset with a girl in your arms).
What interested me more was the trailer for Demons and Angels.
Don't get me wrong, I expect the new film to be just as good as The Da Vinci Code. I.e. crap. See, no code needed.
But what I did like is the trailer. If you EVER need to make a trailer, this is the perfect example of a trailer.
It starts with flashes of a crowd scene... everything seems normal then blood, then SCREAM!!!! (This sets the scene, the location, and something to investigate - in this case, a dead body in the Vatican).
Voice over, more strange buildings, crucifixes, flash someone famous, mention the hero's name. BANG, studio name. (Yes! Ewan McGregor's in this! Yes! Mysterious violin music to get me in the mood.)
More voice over, tick. Explain the previous movie, tick. Explain this movie, tick. (Yes! Its the sequel to The Da Vinci Code, and I'm happy to see Tom Hanks hasn't had a haircut.)
Talk about mumbo jumbo secrets, jump cuts to acts of violence. Repeat. Repeat. (I'm so excited!)
STOP. Joke. (Ho ho, tension broken, I'm ready for my second wind now.)
Increase speed of jump cuts, have exposition over scenes with lots of movement. Repeat. Add lots of running! Cars! Explosions! Thing falling apart! Guns shots! Breaking glass! Doors bursting open. More guns! Shouting! Explosions! Guns! People hitting other people! Even more guns! (Wow, this is the most EXCITING thing ever!!!)
Faster cuts, faster, faster, faster! Add lots of Gregorian chanting. Cut! Cut! Cut! Then a final flash then BANG! Titles roll: Angels and Demons. (What is this film?! What's it called?! I must know, I must know, I must... Oh it's Angels and Demons. Yes! I win!)
And relax...
Saw X-men Origins: Wolverine yesterday. It was a bit rubbish really. Some half decent action scene and lots of sledgehammer exposition (ever wanted to know what happens if you shoot Wolverine in the head with an adamantium bullet? Well this film tells you, no really it tells you to your face and waves signs in case you should be any doubt) and terrible movie cliches that should be made illegal (no-one is allow to hold a recently dead body and scream "Noooooo!" into the sky anymore, and you are also not to *literally* walk off into the sunset with a girl in your arms).
What interested me more was the trailer for Demons and Angels.
Don't get me wrong, I expect the new film to be just as good as The Da Vinci Code. I.e. crap. See, no code needed.
But what I did like is the trailer. If you EVER need to make a trailer, this is the perfect example of a trailer.
It starts with flashes of a crowd scene... everything seems normal then blood, then SCREAM!!!! (This sets the scene, the location, and something to investigate - in this case, a dead body in the Vatican).
Voice over, more strange buildings, crucifixes, flash someone famous, mention the hero's name. BANG, studio name. (Yes! Ewan McGregor's in this! Yes! Mysterious violin music to get me in the mood.)
More voice over, tick. Explain the previous movie, tick. Explain this movie, tick. (Yes! Its the sequel to The Da Vinci Code, and I'm happy to see Tom Hanks hasn't had a haircut.)
Talk about mumbo jumbo secrets, jump cuts to acts of violence. Repeat. Repeat. (I'm so excited!)
STOP. Joke. (Ho ho, tension broken, I'm ready for my second wind now.)
Increase speed of jump cuts, have exposition over scenes with lots of movement. Repeat. Add lots of running! Cars! Explosions! Thing falling apart! Guns shots! Breaking glass! Doors bursting open. More guns! Shouting! Explosions! Guns! People hitting other people! Even more guns! (Wow, this is the most EXCITING thing ever!!!)
Faster cuts, faster, faster, faster! Add lots of Gregorian chanting. Cut! Cut! Cut! Then a final flash then BANG! Titles roll: Angels and Demons. (What is this film?! What's it called?! I must know, I must know, I must... Oh it's Angels and Demons. Yes! I win!)
And relax...
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Finally turned 30
So it finally happened, I turned 30 and handed in my young persons card, ready for my life in the pastures, never to experience the chase, the thrill of life, the surprises and fresh feelings of youth.
I look back at all the things I have done and wonder if it's a life well spent? Some bits have gone well, other bits could have gone better, but what I most regret is the missed opportunities.
Missed opportunities! I remember them all! Like a bitter poker player, I remember good hands I played badly. The winning start that I threw away. I don't remember the bad beats, that's just bad luck. I don't remember playing bad hands, I should have folded and didn't have a hope in hell.
I remember the good hands that I pissed away, and wonder if those hands will ever return.
And 30 may just be a number, but what a number. Probably, in this day and age, it is more important than 40. Thanks to the range of opportunities we have, we live younger longer. When my dad was 30, I was 8. When I am 30... I'm still living like I'm 22.
When change is forced, it is uncomfortable. When change is necessary, it is welcomed. But the anticipation is always worrying.
I'm adjusting to change. I'm being forced into it (perhaps I'm forcing myself?) but I think it is necessary. I've mucked about for long enough and its time to get serious.
Not that I've lost my love of life! Not that I want to give up on new experiences, meeting new people or pushing my life as far as I can! I have not given up!
Turning 30 is not giving up. It's a marker to change, a wake up call to reorganise priorities.
There are so many things I want to do, and procrastinated. I've put things off and delayed. Turning 30 makes me want to put things on. Do the things I want to do, and I mean really want to do. I am 30 after all.
So turning 30. I'm no longer a young man. But I am still a man. And I'm still living, breathing, flush faced, and ready for the best and worst of what the world has to offer.
So it finally happened, I turned 30 and handed in my young persons card, ready for my life in the pastures, never to experience the chase, the thrill of life, the surprises and fresh feelings of youth.
I look back at all the things I have done and wonder if it's a life well spent? Some bits have gone well, other bits could have gone better, but what I most regret is the missed opportunities.
Missed opportunities! I remember them all! Like a bitter poker player, I remember good hands I played badly. The winning start that I threw away. I don't remember the bad beats, that's just bad luck. I don't remember playing bad hands, I should have folded and didn't have a hope in hell.
I remember the good hands that I pissed away, and wonder if those hands will ever return.
And 30 may just be a number, but what a number. Probably, in this day and age, it is more important than 40. Thanks to the range of opportunities we have, we live younger longer. When my dad was 30, I was 8. When I am 30... I'm still living like I'm 22.
When change is forced, it is uncomfortable. When change is necessary, it is welcomed. But the anticipation is always worrying.
I'm adjusting to change. I'm being forced into it (perhaps I'm forcing myself?) but I think it is necessary. I've mucked about for long enough and its time to get serious.
Not that I've lost my love of life! Not that I want to give up on new experiences, meeting new people or pushing my life as far as I can! I have not given up!
Turning 30 is not giving up. It's a marker to change, a wake up call to reorganise priorities.
There are so many things I want to do, and procrastinated. I've put things off and delayed. Turning 30 makes me want to put things on. Do the things I want to do, and I mean really want to do. I am 30 after all.
So turning 30. I'm no longer a young man. But I am still a man. And I'm still living, breathing, flush faced, and ready for the best and worst of what the world has to offer.
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