Finally turned 30

So it finally happened, I turned 30 and handed in my young persons card, ready for my life in the pastures, never to experience the chase, the thrill of life, the surprises and fresh feelings of youth.

I look back at all the things I have done and wonder if it's a life well spent? Some bits have gone well, other bits could have gone better, but what I most regret is the missed opportunities.

Missed opportunities! I remember them all! Like a bitter poker player, I remember good hands I played badly. The winning start that I threw away. I don't remember the bad beats, that's just bad luck. I don't remember playing bad hands, I should have folded and didn't have a hope in hell.

I remember the good hands that I pissed away, and wonder if those hands will ever return.

And 30 may just be a number, but what a number. Probably, in this day and age, it is more important than 40. Thanks to the range of opportunities we have, we live younger longer. When my dad was 30, I was 8. When I am 30... I'm still living like I'm 22.

When change is forced, it is uncomfortable. When change is necessary, it is welcomed. But the anticipation is always worrying.

I'm adjusting to change. I'm being forced into it (perhaps I'm forcing myself?) but I think it is necessary. I've mucked about for long enough and its time to get serious.

Not that I've lost my love of life! Not that I want to give up on new experiences, meeting new people or pushing my life as far as I can! I have not given up!

Turning 30 is not giving up. It's a marker to change, a wake up call to reorganise priorities.

There are so many things I want to do, and procrastinated. I've put things off and delayed. Turning 30 makes me want to put things on. Do the things I want to do, and I mean really want to do. I am 30 after all.

So turning 30. I'm no longer a young man. But I am still a man. And I'm still living, breathing, flush faced, and ready for the best and worst of what the world has to offer.