Nothing like striking while the iron's hot

Here are some belated views on the previous week's television:

Young, Nazi and Proud: My favourite quote "You never see a scruffy paki". Continuing my cliches, it'll be comedic if it wasn't so tragic.

Jamie's Kitchen: I'm warming to Oliver. I can see Jamie getting fucked off with all the clueless chavs and tasteless pikey invading his kitchen and bankrupting him. He f's and blinds like a sailor, dispelling the chirp mockney myth around him.

The Osbournes: It's like the Simpsons made flesh, but with less violence and more swearing. Sharon is the bedrock of the family, Kelly and Jack are the mischievous kids (see Jack throwing vegetables and legs of ham at the neighbours, and Kelly calling people "Cunts"), and Ozzy is the dumb, lovable, charming Homer. Last episode, Sharon hire's a dog psychologist called Tamara. As the shrink leaves Ozzy calls out, "Seeya Tamara". Well it made me laugh. OUT LOUD!

I'm Alan Partridge: He looks so old. Still funny.


"Hulk-a-mania is making a comeback"

Went to a party at the weekend at Willesden Green. Met some nice people and some Dylan fans. The problem with meeting other Dylan fans is that every Dylan fan believes that Bob is talking directly to them. No-one understands like I do. No-one "gets it" like me. In Bob we trust. So far, this has been ok, because most of my friends are non fans or casual fans. Paradoxically, I sometimes find myself in the position as a Dylan evangelist, trying to convert non fans, into fans. But when you meet another "big fan" it is different. There is a tension. Someone has to have more ownership that the other one. We talk casually "Do you have all the albums?" "Any bootlegs?" "Been to any Dylan gigs recently" "Have you read Behind the Shades yet?" "I have a copy of Eat the Document, have you?" but it'll like two wild desert animals, fighting over a mate, it is a display of strength. This time, out of three, I'm second best.

Every group of friends should only have one Dylan fan to stop these potential conflicts.