Walk About

Never watch England getting beaten. Never watch England getting beaten by Australia. Never watch England get beaten at football. Never watch Australia winning in a Walkabout pub in London. Never watch England getting beaten by Australia at football in a Walkabout pub in London.

The plan was to watch the dejected Ozzies cry into there VB's after Beckham et al thump'em. To watch them hang there heads in shame, and to avenge the cricket.

The Walkabout is in Shepard's Bush, next to the Empire. In the back of the pub there is an oval arena and a drop down screen. Last night there were 2 camera men walking around with dazzling spotlights attached to the front. As the Socceroos sang the national anthem, yellow and green scarves were being thrown into the ravenous crowd. The cameras would swing around and temporarily blind me and the light shone in my eyes.

The whistle blows, and the shouting starts. "Come on you Ozzies!" or more like "Camm ooon ewe Ozzzies!". Two particularly vocal and high pitched girls stand behind us, and shout lots at Beckham: "Kik the bool you faagot!" The guy standing to my left has New South Wales on his collar, but is actually from Oxford, England. He talks to girls on his left and right. "Where are you from?" "Sydney" "I'm from Oxford, fancy a drink?" "No".

The inevitable happens - I go for a piss. As I'm standing at the massive communal urinal I heard a massive muffled cheer. The guy in a England shirt and unbuttoned jeans next to me says "That isn't a good sign" The green and yellow are jumping. I fight my way back to my table. "What happened?" "Australia scored".

The shouting increased, the lights shone more, time speeds up. The girls scream some more, the guy from Oxford gets more drinks in. It's only one nil, we can do it, we can do it. Give it to Beckham. Give it Owen. Scholes, GOAL!!! What was wrong with that??? That's a joke! Beattie never touched it. Watch out! It's okay, Rio is on the case... GET UP RIO! COME ON JAMES... More cheering. Yellow and green. Half time.

Second half. England field a completely different team. Jenas looks good. Rooney is doing ok, good lay off. Good cross Jenas, GOAL!!! I shout. Others cheer. Like a pea in a tincan. At last, the girls behind us shut up. Hope. We can do it. England is looking for a hero. Is that a guy called Chipperfield on the pitch? Didn't Alosi used to play for Pompey? What's he doing to Ledley King? Hang on a sec... "Camm on Soccoroos!!!"

Fuck it, lets go...