War brings about some anti Pompey slander. I like it.

"Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton," said UK defence minister Geoff Hoon in the Commons yesterday.

"He's either never been to Southampton, or he's never been to Umm Qasr" said a British squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr.

Another soldier added: "There's no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It's more like Portsmouth".