meme survey



i've been ordered to do one of these things again, this time about books.

Which book would you memorise if you were on a desert island?

probably a dictionary. i hate having to look up words. it makes me feel stupid. i love using dictionaries though, it makes me feel intelligent.


Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

if crush means infatuation (non sexual) it must be the earliest character i loved from a book. the one i remember right now is matilda from matilda by roald dahl. i guess i wanted to be just like her: be brilliant at maths, read every book in her local library, move things with my eyes. the first love is the deepest.

if crush means sexual attractions then i can safely say that all those horny women that write into porno magazines and feel the need to share their dirty exploits fit the bill. i have had a crush on every one of them.


The last book you bought is?

i can't remember the title, but it's about shakespeare. on the cover, there is a quote from alec guiness, and he says he really likes it.


The last book you finished is:

finished ward 6 and other short stories by chekov. he's like a 19th century russian woody allen with less penis jokes.


What are you currently reading?

just started the aspern papers by henry james. it's written in first person and i now know what a gordian knot is.


Five books you would take to a desert island?

the complete works of william shakespeare (abridged): i'm such a cliche, but i truly believe, like everyone else who doesn't hate good things, that shakespeare is the greatest writer that mankind has ever produced. no-one can stand on his shoulders and should they try, they will surely burn to ash in the rays of the molten sun. i need the abridgment to explain all the classical allusions.

the bible: king james I version of course. if i were to be stuck on a island, alone, the people i would most like to talk to would be hamlet first, then god. as i know next to nothing about the other gods mankind has created (or the other gods that have created mankind) i choose the christian one because i went to a church of england school. i still remember jonah was swallowed by a whale and thomas didn't trust anyone, not even the son of god. i would also need a reference book to look up all the biblical allusions.

bob dylan's songs - the complete lyrics: if i could read his words, then i can hear his music. music would be priceless on an empty island. i could use the bible to reference his christian period.

a complete transcript of every film woody allen has made: i can conjure up the scenes in my head, alone with his voice. I would picture diane keaton as every leading lady. i would have the early funny ones to make me laugh, the middle serious ones to ponder about and the late funny ones to make me laugh again.

the complete works of harold bloom: if i can't read the books i want to read, then i would like to read about them. who else would I have as a guide and mentor through this dark and fascinating forest?

i think the last 3 books don't really exist in real life, but i'm sure that if i was going to be banished to a desert island, then someone would publish them for me.

I'm going to send this to:

tim, kev, joe and mei. once again, just answer the question in italics.