remote control
that dan brown book really isn't very good. to try and demonstrate why i'm going to write about a trip to the shops to buy milk in the style of dan brown. then i want you to decide why i don't like it.
trip to the shops by ban drown
dr foxy bigtits bounced her way down the street. "look at those big mamas" said one of the bystanders. "pity she's the daughter of the president of the united states of america and graduated top of her bio-physics course at harvard." said the other bystander. dr bigtits had learnt to ignore such crude comments about her tits. she didn't study so hard just be known as a pair of boobs, even if she was the daughter of the most powerful man in the world. she saw him as a normal father that just so happened to be in charge of enough nuclear warheads to blow russia and china to hell and back and then to hell again. she had OTHER things on her mind.
the electric doors opened by themselves. the sensor at the top of the door way sensed movement and it used tiny electrical impulses to operate electric motors which in turn rotated wheels to open the automatic doors to the shop. this wasn't the stuff of science fiction thought dr bigtits. nasa had known about this since the space race in the 1960's. jfk was thought to have greenlighted the project and been the first man to use an automatic door. this is just the most sophisticated technology thought dr bigtits, as she stepped through the door.
inside stood dr bigtits father, dr tits bigtits. there is my father thought dr bigtits, the man who i grew up with. hang on a second! thought dr bigtits! why is the most powerful man in the world, my father, the president of the united states standing in a shop! there must be something wrong! there must be some kind of trouble for him to be here! he must be in trouble! and there was something wrong. something was more wrong than anybody in the whole world could have imagined. something so wrong that it shook pillars of society to it's very feet."
i decided to read only 4 sentences every page. it's like watching a crap film in fast forward.
i am also reading othello. that iago is not a pleasant chap is he?
2 comments:
You just made me do a laugh.
I'm almost tempted to read a Dan Brown book now, just for the sheer anticipated awfulness.
(I mean, I won't *buy* it or anything.)
i wish it was bad enough to be funny, but it's just bad. another example: there are 3 characters in the book. one is called delta 1. guess what the other 2 are called? yes, delta 2 and delta 3. i feel like i'm trapped in a mechanical wet dream.
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